Le code source de Windows 95 !

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patheticcockroach
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Le code source de Windows 95 !

Message par patheticcockroach » 23 mai 2005, 15:28:32

Salut,

Ca intéressera plutôt les anglophones... voici une source un peu étrange que j'ai trouvée sur http://www.computerjokes.net/052.htm A première vue, c'est du C++. En regardant de plus près, on admire cette source de Windows 95... :D

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Subject: *** TOP SECRET MICROSOFT CODE ***
Project:  Version - Windows 95

Microsoft marketing strategy (MARKET.EXE):

#include <NONSENSE.H
#include <LIES.H
#include <SPYWARE.H /* Microsoft Network Connectivity library */
#include <PROCESS.H /* For the court of law */

#define say&#40;x&#41; lie&#40;x&#41;
#define computeruser ALL_WANT_TO_BUY_OUR_BUGWARE
#define next_year soon
#define the_product_is_ready_to_ship   another_beta_version

void main&#40;&#41;
&#123;
 if &#40;latest_window_version>one_month_old&#41;
 &#123;
   if &#40;there_are_still_bugs&#41;
     market&#40;bugfix&#41;;
   if &#40;sales_drop_below_certain_point&#41;
     raise&#40;RUMOURS_ABOUT_A_NEW_BUGLESS_VERSION&#41;;
 &#125;
 while&#40;everyone_chats_about_new_version&#41;
 &#123;
   make_false_promise&#40;it_will_be_multitasking&#41;; /* Standard Call, in
                                                   lie.h */
   if &#40;rumours_grow_wilder&#41;
     make_false_promise&#40;it_will_be_plug_n_play&#41;;
   if &#40;rumours_grow_even_wilder&#41;
   &#123;
     market_time=ripe;
     say&#40;"It will be ready in one month&#41;;
     order&#40;programmers, stop_fixing_bugs_in_old_version&#41;;
     order&#40;programmers, start_brainstorm_about_new_version&#41;;
     order&#40;marketingstaff, permission_to_spread_nonsense&#41;;
     vapourware=TRUE;
     break;
    &#125;
 &#125;
 switch &#40;nasty_questions_of_the_worldpress&#41;
 &#123;
    case WHEN_WILL_IT_BE_READY&#58;
      say&#40;"It will be ready in", today+30_days," we're just testing"&#41;;
      break;
   case WILL_THIS_PLUG_AND_PLAY_THING_WORK&#58;
      say&#40;"Yes it will work"&#41;;
      ask&#40;programmers, why_does_it_not_work&#41;;
      pretend&#40;there_is_no_problem&#41;;
      break;
    case WHAT_ARE_MINIMAL_HARDWARE_REQUIREMENTS&#58;
      say&#40;"It will run on a 8086 with lightning speed due to"
          " the 32 bits architecture"&#41;;
      inform&#40;INTEL, "Pentium sales will rise skyhigh"&#41;;
      inform&#40;SAMSUNG, "Start a new memorychip plant"
             "'cos all those customers will need at least 32 megs"&#41;;
      inform&#40;QUANTUM, "Thanks to our fatware your sales will triple"&#41;;
      get_big_bonus&#40;INTEL, SAMSUNG, QUANTUM&#41;;
      break;
    case DOES_MICROSOFT_GET_TOO_MUCH_INFLUENCE&#58;
      say&#40;"Oh no, we are just here to make a better world for
           everyone"&#41;;
      register&#40;journalist, Big_Bill_Book&#41;;
      when&#40;time_is_ripe&#41;
      &#123;
        arrest&#40;journalist&#41;;
        brainwash&#40;journalist&#41;;
        when&#40;journalist_says_windows95_is_bugfree&#41;
        &#123;
          order&#40;journalist, "write a nice objective article"&#41;;
          release &#40;journalist&#41;;
        &#125;
      &#125;
      break;
  &#125;
  while &#40;vapourware&#41;
  &#123;
    introduction_date++; /* Delay */
    if &#40;no_one_believes_anymore_there_will_be_a_release&#41;
      break;
    say&#40;"It will be ready in",today+ONE_MONTH&#41;;
 &#125;
 release&#40;beta_version&#41;
 while &#40;everyone_is_dumb_enough_to_buy_our_bugware&#41;
 &#123;
   bills_bank_account += 150*megabucks;
   release&#40;new_and_even_better_beta_version&#41;;
   introduce&#40;more_memory_requirements&#41;;
   if &#40;customers_report_installation_problems&#41;
   &#123;
     say&#40;"that is a hardware problem, not a software problem"&#41;;
     if &#40;smart_customer_says_but_you_promised_plug_and_play&#41;
     &#123;
       ignore&#40;customer&#41;;
       order&#40;microsoft_intelligence_agency, "Keep an eye on this
                                             bastard"&#41;;
     &#125;
   &#125;
   if &#40; bills_bank_account>skyhigh && marriage>two_years &#41;
   &#123;
     divorce&#40;woman_that_was_beatifull_when_I_married_her&#41;;
     wave&#40;dollars, at_lusty_chicks&#41;;
     marry&#40;young_blond_virgin_with_big_boobies&#41;;
     devirginize&#40;young_blond_virgin_with_big_boobies&#41;;
     if &#40;boobies_start_to_hang&#41;

       dump&#40;young_blond_virgin_with_big_boobies&#41;;
   &#125;
   if &#40;there_is_another_company&#41;
   &#123;
     steal&#40;their_ideas&#41;;
     accuse&#40;compagny, stealing_our_ideas&#41;;
     hire&#40;a_lot_of_lawyers&#41;; /* in process.h */
     wait&#40;until_other_company_cannot_afford_another_lawsuit&#41;;
     buy_out&#40;other_company&#41;;
   &#125;
 &#125;
 /* Now everyone realizes that we sell bugware and they are all angry at
    us */
 order&#40;plastic_surgeon, make_bill_look_like_poor_bastard&#41;;
 buy&#40;nice_little_island&#41;; hire&#40;harem&#41;;
 laugh_at&#40;everyone,
for_having_the_patience_year_after_year_for_another_unfinished_version&#41;;
&#125;


void bugfix&#40;void&#41;
&#123;
 charge &#40;a_lot_of_money&#41;
 if &#40;customer_says_he_does_not_want_to_pay_for_bugfix&#41;
   say&#40;"It is not a bugfix but a new version"&#41;;
 if &#40;still_complaints&#41;
 &#123;
   ignore&#40;customer&#41;;
   register&#40;customer, big_Bill_book&#41;;
   /* We'll get him when everyone uses Billware!!*/
 &#125;
&#125;
PatheticCockroach - Mes configurations - Wiki4Games, the free video game wiki

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